Paperback Writah

As a big soul residing in a tiny body , I would like to end up with someone who is sure of himself. I read once that all of us, including men, find assurance when they’re merely walking with someone who is certain. Doesn’t it feel good when you go out with a friend or a relative who knows where he’s going? Personally, when I am with someone who does, I feel secure and safe, I don’t have to think of where to go to, or what to eat, what to talk about.

I remember when my 9-year-old nephew begged for us to go to June’s house, which is in Caloocan by the way (mga 2 hours away lang naman from Las Pinas), he wanted so badly to get there! It was amazing how he seemed to never get tired from all the walking. Nakakatuwa siya, even if his only goal was to play PS3. He was 9, and he was sure.

Right now, I want to be 22 and sure.

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I made a huge discovery this week: I can be as strong as I want myself to be, and I can be as weak as I want myself to be. I can never underestimate my power to change myself, and I can never overestimate my power to change someone else. In this ‘crazy mixed up world’, we have to have this certain strength to go through - it could just be passing a college exam, or your first time to drive a car, or cancer, or annulment, or whathaveyou. We have to GO THROUGH certain things. How can we be overcomers when we sometimes are afraid to overcome?

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When my week starts with going to work late, the rest of the days follow. Oh I don’t want to be late to work ever again. (I can change, I can change.)

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Another thing I discovered this week: I am a winner, but I can become a loser when I step down on other people. If everyone in this world can respect tradition and eliminate racism and discrimination, (you know the drill) this world will be a better place. I can ask ‘why’, but not ‘why not’. I want to listen, not be a critic. I want to make suggestions but not impose. I want to keep listening. I don’t want to give unsolicited advise, it’s unnecessary.

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On a lighter note, I have been planning to maintain just one site, one tiny space in the cyberworld. Should I delete my friendster account? Parang ayaw ko, I’ve invested too much in it, I’ve been a member since 2003 and I can’t imagine deleting my good friends’ comments on my page! Waaah.

E yung blogspot ko kaya? Parang ayaw ko rin, it just has too much value! Sometimes I’d go back to the old entries I wrote and it definitely makes me laugh, parang, ‘ako ba yun??’. How can I decide???

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THIRD YEAR

June and I turned 3 last Thursday, May 22.

I won’t be able to describe how it has been from Day 1 but I’m just plain thankful for EVERYTHING.

And to top it all, he still makes my heart beat a little faster than usual. = )

*Note: photo was taken during UP Fair 2008, some cupcakes June and I saw in one of the booths. Store is called Cholocate.

  While Heath Ledger’s death is shocking, I find the world’s indifference to what really matters more so.

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If
you’ve seen the movie Armageddon, I know you can clearly remember the
‘animal cracker’ scene. Grace and AJ lying on the grass one afternoon,
canoodling under the tree, where AJ (Ben Affleck) asks Grace (Liv Tyler)

Do you think that anyone else is doing this same exact thing this very moment?

Is it really possible to have another person on the other side of the world doing exactly what I’m doing? Nagtatype, nagb-blog, iniisip ang movie na Armageddon at nag-iisip pa ng ibang pwedeng gawin.

Another one of my ‘wala lang’ moments.

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I agree with Maya Angelou when she said that without courage, you can’t practice anything consistently. Oo
nga naman. Paano ako magiging consistent pumasok ng opisina kung
araw-araw akong takot akong lumabas ng bahay at humarap sa tao?

I
want to see the world the way she does. I want to have her compassion
and brevity and how she remains down-to-earth despite (or because of?)
her success.

One day, I will see this world as it is, not just how I see myself in it. I will know why the caged bird sings!

 I ended the week last Saturday, January 12,
spending my time with my niece and nephew (Dea and Bleu). They saw this
old bookmark that I made when I was in high school and they wanted to
make their own…so I cut out an old folder and let them use my colored
pens (which I’ve been keeping for so long now). They enjoyed it so much
that after finishing their bookmarks, they kept on asking me every hour
if the glitter glue has dried. Ang cute nila no? I want to be their favorite tita.

Read more…

A free trip to EK with June’s team — CVS.

Click here for photos!!

And here too!

Ngayon ko lang narealize, ang sarap pala sa Anchors Away. Gusto ko nang bumalik, now na! Kitang kita naman sa pic di ba?  = p

The Audience Of One

There’s
no better life than a life of my own pace. I don’t want to live
according to how my parents want me to, or how people around me do, or
what is presented to me by the media. If I have to write a message to
myself today, it will be:

You
know who you are, deep down. Never let other people or circumstances
(good or bad) dictate how you should feel about yourself. You are the
apple of God’s eye, priceless. Be content with what you have but never
be satisfied. Keep desiring for more. Desire to give more, desire to
receive more.

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I want to be a better girlfriend this year!!

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My mind was blank when, a few weeks ago, I was asked by one of my close friends what I envision for this year.

I
never made New Year’s resolutions and I am not planning to make one. We
are encouraged by our church to make our visions for ‘08, though. I
just made up some general ones, like giving more, read more books, eat
in moderation..etc.

I hope I can come up with my ‘08 banner soon!!!

My 2nd Christmas with IBM, spent with IBM people closest to me and saying ‘See you soon!’ to our dear Nika.

PHOTOS HERE!!

Today I learned that
the nourishment that my spirit gets from being part of a group with the
same faith as mine is immense. I was called to join this mighty group
of women more than a year ago, and man, I can’t stress enough how much my life has changed.

I
call them ‘friends’, not because we smile at each other at church, or
because we exchange gifts during Christmas, but because I know that we
were called to be FRIENDS and we REMAIN to be.

To my dear Ates — Len, Rhema, Honey, My, Kathy, Neng, Thez, Kat, Ira, Eden — I treasure you.